Central, the hot new bar in LA just a short lurch from its sister bar, Parc, gives an old—and ubiquitous—word a fresh new spin. Pair it with sibling Parc, and you’ve got a cleverly-themed umbrella brand name that the owners adeptly exploit to distinguish both spots. Faux branches, lights strung like stars, earthy design: a Hollywood take on Manhattan’s Central Park if ever there was one. Nice when product naming is as deft as this.

I’ve been experimenting with Pandora lately, that increasingly popular music matching website otherwise known as the “music genome project”. Pretty cool stuff actually. So far, fairly accurate. It hasn’t once suggested I’d like The Who (sorry sorry - inside joke).

Most people have some idea of who Pandora was, or at least they know something about a box (actually a jar). Size, shape, material unimportant. You just don’t want to open the box. Don’t open that box. Bad inside the box. World of hurt inside the box, all that. I imagine a goodly number people don’t know the whole story, what was inside the box, why opening it would be naughty, etc. Probably doesn’t matter that much. At least in terms of brand names, common understandings and associations with words and ideas are usually more important than complete but lesser-known story details anyway. So I’m not gonna point out all the story DNA the genome project seems to have overlooked. I’m just gonna commend them on having taken the time to explain their interpretation and use of the name. Man, I love it when companies do that.

According to The Music Genome Project:

The name Pandora means “all gifted” in Greek. In ancient Greek mythology, Pandora received many gifts from the Gods, including the gift of music, from Apollo. She was also, as we all know, insatiably curious.
Unlike those Gods of old, however, we celebrate that virtue and have made it our mission to reward the musically curious among us with a never-ending experience of music discovery.
It’s also important to note that at the bottom of Pandora’s box was Hope…

So I don’t think the closing emphasis on that remaining virtue was really necessary, but otherwise I like the interpretation. Sounds like Pandora was really just an amazingly gifted if slightly nosy little girl, not a mankind killer at all (whoops! Sorry).

PS: Note to Pandora. There seems to be some question in the literature about the meaning of the name “Pandora”. One interpretation is that the name means “all-gifted”, but another suggests it means “all-giving” - perhaps an even better interpretation for your brand??

Just the other day I blogged about Chicken Poop lip moisturizer. Not more than 24 hours later I came across Alligator Poo hard candies.

I guess we’re gonna have to update our list of client briefing questions. “Are there any words or ideas you would like us to definitely explore (e.g. Poo, poop, poopies, poopsies, etc.)?”

This is just one of the reasons why we’re such an outstanding naming agency - we’re amazingly attuned to emerging trends in the industry. Prediction: 2008 will be the year of the Poo. You watch.

I think that’s all the poo talk I have for today.

At a recent client meeting, Burt and I learned that Bluetooth wasn’t just an abstract brand name. It turns out that the Bluetooth brand name has a story to tell.

According to Wikipedia, the source of all things good and true, Harald Bluetooth was a tenth century King of Denmark whose legacy includes uniting (if briefly) Denmark, Norway, and Sweden under a single king. An apropos brand name for a technology that wirelessly unites computers, phones, peripherals, and other technologies.

Also, the Bluetooth symbol is a merger of the Nordic runes for the analogous Latin letters H and B. What a great example of choosing a company name that so perfectly lends itself to clever visual design!

As naming specialists, we often recommend new product names that seem abstract on the surface, but in fact have a relevant relationship to the product. The great thing about Bluetooth is that it’s such a distinctive brand name it doesn’t require the backstory to make it memorable.

I’ve always liked the name Bluetooth, but knowing that strategic naming considerations played a factor in the brand name creation process has given me a whole new level of respect for the brand. I’m also impressed that the Bluetooth folks developed this vivid brand name themselves.

According to my bio I’m a magazine junkie with a predilection for high fashion. It’s true - I love magazines, especially my wife’s fashion mags (yeah, I’ll admit it). Flipping through her recent edition of People Style Watch I noticed this curious new brand name for a lip moisturizer: Chicken Poop. That’s right - CHICKEN POOP. As intended, I was a bit taken aback. Perhaps even a little outraged. Yeah, I guess I *was* outraged because my hands were up in the air, I was talking to myself about it and I’m sure I was making some pretty ugly faces. “What are they THINKING?! Chicken Poop??!! For a MOISTURIZER??? For ANYTHING??? This IS an outrage. It’s inflammatory! I’ve got write to someone. But who?? The FDA??? Nah. My congressman?? Yeah, right. Maybe I’ll just blog about it. Who else is gonna listen?”. So you’re all I’ve got. Thanks for being there for me.

Let’s face it - as namers we’re simply unable to evaluate a name without thinking about all the conceivable associations, the potential linguistic and cultural issues, the name length and construction, how easily it’s pronounced, its appropriateness for the product, and about a 100 other naming measurements. It’s like our DNA became altered 15 years ago when we got involved in brand name development. It’s now physically impossible for us to just DIGEST A NAME. We’ve gotta really chew it up, super fine, to a paste, before sending it down our gullets. Which is fine, and to be expected I suppose; we love what we do. But sometimes you just wanna read a name as anyone else would. As any consumer would. So here goes. Chicken Poop as evaluated by Mark Skoultchi, general consumer and magazine thief:

Holy Crap!! CHICKEN POOP??!! For a MOISTURIZER??!! Why would I want to smear chicken poop on my lips??? That’s absurd. What are they thinking? Idiots. Ohhhhh, wait. It’s probably not *really* made with chicken poop, is it?. No, I bet it’s not. This is some sort of marketing gimmick, isn’t it? Yeah, that’s it. There’s some other reason why they’re calling it Chicken Poop. Probably just wanna get my attention, be a little diiiiffrent. Probably not one turd in the whole recipe. But still, Chicken Poop?? For a lip moisturizer?? Whatever the story, do I really wanna be a part of it?? Hmmm. I’m not sure. Probably not. Maybe just a stick, to see how how it works. Maybe more, I don’t know. It’s funny. My friends will laugh. Certainly something to talk about. But long term?? I don’t know. It’s kind of a joke. Can’t imagine myself ever taking it seriously. And while Kiehl’s is a whole lot harder to spell, it works really well and I’ve always liked that brand. Guess I’ll just have to see.

So there you have it folks. Straight from the general consumer’s mouth. Sounds like he’s intrigued, but I’m not sure he’s gonna develop a real loyalty to that brand. Granted - he’s just an audience of one, but my guess is that Chicken Poop never displaces any of the heavy lippers in the category. That’s not to say it won’t make Jamie Tabor Schmidt (owner) a lot of money (and by the way, Jamie, I do love tongue-in-cheek marketing, including your “Simone Chickenbone, Natural Put-Ons” slogan, as you call it), but I do wonder how much traction the brand will have over time. And perhaps that’s just fine with Jamie. As she indicates on her website, www.ilovechickenpoop.com, she has 7 new products in the making. I’m sure the new brand names will be similarly provocative. Turkey Flem Hair Paste anyone??

That’s what I’m asking myself, after hearing about the new “Nazi collection” of bedspreads being offered in India by home furnishings entrepreneur Kapil Kumar Todi. Todi claims the name Nazi “just came to him” and is meant to be an acronym for “New Arrival Zone of India” (whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean). Todi’s even emblazoning a swastika alongside his new brand name (talk about a logo with emotional associations). Now it’s true the ancient swastika was an Indian symbol long before the Nazis usurped it. In fact the word swastika comes from the Sanskrit “svástika.” But to pair it with the brand name “Nazi,” however “innocently” . . . well, you don’t need a team of naming specialists to do better than that.

Need I say more?

Ok, maybe just a few quick remarks since I rarely blog. And perhaps now my brand name development colleagues, my naming specialist friends, also in the business of naming products and services and developing taglines for companies, will cut me some slack.

Spotted Dick. Mmmm. Spotted Dick. Can’t remember the last time I enjoyed a healthy portion of that tasty English treat. So spongy, so moist, so….dappled. It’s gotta be 10, 12 years now. Way too long. Way, way too long.

Man, I love my Brit friends, but Mama Pajama, don’t you know what “Dick” means?? Yeah, yeah, I know it means a lot of things, and of course it’s short for “Richard”. In fact, Laura, our Client Manager and Catchword’s newest word surgeon, connected me with some alternative meanings. It can refer to a riding whip, an apron, an abbreviation for dictionary, a policeman, and probably a few other things not connected to testicles. But still. It’s a penis. And in this case, a freckled penis. And, despite a wonderfully rich English history, probably not an appropriate name for a food product. Interestingly, I don’t think it’s the word “Dick” that I find most offensive. It’s the totality of the name – the qualifier, “Spotted” – that evokes the undeniable, vividly clear image of a, well, you know: A FRECKLED PENIS! I read that the recipe, like most recipes, has evolved over the years, since the 19th Century when the pudding was conceived. Suggestion: let it continue to evolve. Please. If it were my kitchen, I’d start by removing the raisins or currants, the ingredients that give it it’s “spots”. Then I’d change the pudding to something like, well, I don’t know, maybe I wouldn’t change the pudding. But I’d call it “PUDDING”, and leave it at that. Heinz Microwavable Sponge Pudding. Mmm…pudding. Now that sounds appetizing.

Forget about the hair, the clothes, the bod. Ever consider if your name has sex appeal? According to a study by MIT grad student/cognitive scientist Amy Perfors, beauty may well be in the ears, and not just the eyes, of the beholder. Perfors posted photos of men and women—labeled with fake first names—on the site “Hot or Not,” and viewers rated their attractiveness. The same photos were then reposted with different first names, and voilà—they scored differently. For men, names with constricted vowel sounds (think “Ben”) had more sex appeal than names with fuller vowel sounds. For women, the reverse was true. (As if Angelina didn’t already have it all). The sampling’s small enough to raise questions about the particular lessons drawn (in my mind). But the notion that a first name with the right phonetic structure can generate some sizzle all by itself . . . well, that’s no surprise to those of us who specialize in strategic naming. So while the Teds and Tinas of the world can relax, maybe the Bobs and Beths should consider a little name makeover? For more details, see this summary in New Scientist. And the full story is here, but you’ll have to subscribe to Premium plus to get it.

EachDay.com has done a great job compiling the Web 2.0 companies who use the speech bubble in their logos. Trevor Elliott asserts that the speech bubble is now so overused, much like the “iBlank” naming convention, that companies need to stop using it in their graphic identity. As much as I love a few of the bubble logos, I don’t think I realized the extent to which they have been used by the Web 2.0 crowd. So, I have to agree with Trevor here: Stop with the bubbles and stop the insanity!

Following my recent post about televisiphonernetting, Maria forwarded me the following blog post. It appears that Goodby and Perfect Fools are the ones responsible for my new favorite term. They’ve also created a fun, interactive flash experience called TripleSlanguage It turns out televisiphonernetting is only one of many cute and clunky coined names in the new Comcast advertising campaign. My favorite part of the site is the television ads at the end. I especially like the quizjacking tv ad (mostly because I’ve been known to quizjack on occasion!).

Nice job Goodby and Perfect Fools. You’ve given this namer a bunch of fun new terms to play with.